YMonday, October 24, 2005
sometyms there's tis sick pit in ur stomach tat realy hurts badly that it makes u cringe and worst- u dun even noe wat is the cause of all tis pain..
tat u really feel like puking it all out thinking tat somehow the feeling wud just be gone.
and even after having done that..the feelin's stil there..in fact,it got worse.
so u start tryina find every way possible to make that awful feelin dissapear..
u do things that u never thought u'd do..
coz painkillerz became a drug..and gettin sleep became impossible.
that's wat i feel now..
i feel like an insomniac..i cant sleep and i just duno wat to do wit myself.
wat can i do to mend all the broken pieces..
wat abt the lost debris..
tat perhaps contributed to the pain that i've been feelin lately..
why must happiness be temporary..
wat makes the usual sadness and depression linger?
the memories of my torments and hurt just wont go away..
being constantly reminded of it still affects me..
so many things are running through my head..
and i cant make any sense of any of it..its torturous.
but yet..nothing that i do will make tis ass-feelin dissapear.
perhaps its just me and my delusion..
perhaps i am the cause of the sick pit in my stomach..
perhaps i shudnt even give a f-.
everything at home seems fine..werk seem fine..sch is fine..
me? -im not sure.
i gez i stretched myself to thin..and im actually enjoyin it all..
every hurt and every pain..
bein in the company of my frens..colleagues..and "the tag team of 4"..
and him..somehow makes me forget tat im in pain..
-n i love it..despite dad not lettin me hangout..ima still gon'a do it..
cuz at least.i feel accompanied.
_callous_ was here with you at
